And
A Tuneful New Year To You Too
Written by Lyssa Graham
This
was supposed to be a column about New Year’s resolutions,
new directions, changes to come and the start of a new
decade. It would have been a column filled with hope and
excitement for the brand new year. It may even have been
uplifting and inspiring.
Unfortunately,
I’ve been a bit distracted lately. You see, I got
my first IPod for Christmas and it has totally and completely
taken over my life. My world is centered on this little
piece of technological joy and, frankly, I don’t
have time for resolutions, change or any New Directions
that can’t be found on the “Glee” soundtracks.
Now
I know you’re thinking that I am hopelessly behind
the curve. And you’re right about that. When your
first piece of technology is the one marketed as “classic,”
you know that boat has done left the harbor and you are,
technologically speaking, jumping up and down on the dock
in frustration as all of the cool kids laugh in your face
while waving goodbye from the deck.
Before
you think I’m a complete Stone Age technophobe,
you should know that I truly am a tech geek. I think nothing
of zooming out for the latest smart phone, software or
cool new networking tool. I will drop big bucks on a new
microphone for the studio faster than you can say, “check
one, check two.” I have my computers built to my
specs. My home office fairly bristles with technological
marvels.
I
can do this because I have managed to rationalize these
tech-treats as business expenses. Or as we say here in
Texas, bidness expenses. Each and every component of my
office is absolutely necessary to the smooth functioning
of my bidness life.
That’s
what I tell myself, at least.
But
the IPod, which I have coveted, yearned for, dreamt about
and longed for lo these many years is not a bidness expense.
Believe me, I’ve tried to come up with a way to
rationalize one into my office but I just couldn’t
do it. I came close by telling myself that an IPod would
be useful for double checking the final edits of the audio
books I narrate but ultimately, I didn’t believe
me. I even tried to convince myself that I needed music
to write but, once I showed me the speaker system in my
office, I realized that, once again, I was lying to myself.
There’s
just nothing bidnesslike about a personal music player.
And if it’s not bidness related, it’s not
a write off so I can’t possibly buy it. Plus, the
IPod is not cheap. And I am. Very cheap.
Excuse
me for a moment while I go slap my husband around for
laughing and rolling his eyes over that one. He thinks
I’m wildly extravagant but that’s only in
comparison to him. Scrooge McHusband gets weepy when he
has to spend money on anything and I’m including
food, drink and necessary items in the list of items he
finds too expensive to bear.
He’s
been known to comparison shop for butter, is willing to
heartlessly deny the squirrels outside my office window
their seed block yummies because the $4.88 price tag is
just too high and has never willingly bought an item of
clothing for himself. (His Mom and I dress him, in case
you were wondering. He’d be wrapped in newspaper
if left to his own devices and that’s only if he
could find a newspaper lying in the streets and didn’t
have to purchase one.)
And
I suppose he’s right in one sense, compared to him,
I’m a reckless spendthrift, throwing money wildly
into the wind at the slightest provocation. So are the
rest of the world’s humans. Thankfully, Santa Claus
– in the guise of my in-laws – is not so cheap.
This
Christmas morning, under the tree were not one but two
IPods. One for me and one for the fan of Norwegian Death
Metal, thankfully. And I have to tell you, it’s
about time we made the switch from CD to IPod in this
house.
We
have been in mortal danger of being swallowed up by our
mutual CD collection for several years now. Between the
two of us, we have enough music to open our own, very
eclectic, radio station. I’m seriously talking about
thousands of compact discs here. And let’s not even
begin to look at the number of record albums lying around
this house. (For the younger than 30, the CD is the small
silver circle, the record album is the larger black circle.
They contain music that can be played on what is known
as the CD player and the turntable respectively. And no,
you don’t have to fight off dinosaurs to do it either.)
So
now, we no longer have to fret about building an addition
to the house to hold all of our music. Instead, we can
put all of those millions of tunes onto a device smaller
than a cigarette pack. Whoo hoo!
The
only downside so far is that having all of my music accessible
and pouring directly into my ear canal has turned me into
a teenager. I don’t respond to questions, get sullen
if I have to remove even one ear bud and haven’t
managed to hold an actual conversation in three days.
Too busy listening to deep cuts from my Kinky Friedman
collection and loading CD’s onto my new toy to bother
with silliness like interacting with other human beings,
thank you very much.
Best
of all, I’ve decided that a docking station for
our new toys is most definitely a bidness expense as all
good offices provide background music. Where’s my
bidness charge card?
Lyssa
Graham is based on Galveston Island, just outside of Texas.
She can’t hear you over the 80’s alternative
mix blaring into her eardrums. Just e-mail her at Lyssa@LyssaGraham.com
|
March 2011
Because I Care
February 2011
Because I Care
January 2011
The Printed Word
December 2010
For Whom The Cock Crows
November 2010
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas
October 2010
Huh?
September 2010
This is Seriously Weird
August 2010
Oh Galveston, Seriously Now
July 2010
Some Guidelines
JUNE
2010
Isn't
That Special
May
2010
Asking
The Expert
April
2010
In Response
March
2010
I
Do Not Like This Council Sham
February
2010
Where Is The Love?
January
2010
And A Tuneful New
Year To You Too
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