The
Benchwarmer
Written by John Williams
You
have got to be kidding me; I cannot believe it happened
again. If someone would have told me that this would happen
a second time, I would have bet my whole paycheck, which
is not very much, that no one would be that stupid again.
And I would have lost that measly paycheck, because it
did happen again. I know you have probably heard all about
it, but let me refresh your memory.
Gilbert
Arenas and Javaris Crittenton, both players for the Washington
Wizards, decided to bring guns into the lockeroom of the
Wizards. Now I heard this and I had to think to myself,
what in the world would a professional basketball player
need with a gun in the lockeroom? And I have to say that
I could not think of one reason that a person who makes
millions of dollars, and is not a drug overlord, would
need to carry around a semi-automatic weapon.
One
of the players, Javaris Crittenton, stated that he feared
the other player, which is Gilbert Arenas, would shoot
him, so that is why he had a gun. He also said that Arenas
might blow up his car. Maybe Arenas is some kind of overlord,
if he is talking about shooting people or blowing them
up, that sounds like something an overlord would do. (Maybe
that's why he needed to pack some heat, when you are an
overlord you never know when some trouble is going to
start.)
Now
from what I understand, the reason Crittenton feared Arenas
was because they had an argument over a card game. If
there is one thing I learned at a very early age it's
that you never play cards with an overlord, and to look
both ways before you threaten some one who owes you money,
you never know who's around. Crittenton obviously forgot
that lesson.
I
said this before, and I will probably say it again sometime
in the near future, where in the hell are these guys hanging
out that they need to carry guns around. Didn’t
these two idiots learn anything from the Plaxico Buress
case? How many people have to shoot themselves in the
leg before someone comes to their senses. Thankfully no
one was hurt, and by no one I mean their teammates, not
those two idiots.
They
were waving guns around like it was the OK corral, instead
of a lockeroom where people were trying to get ready to
do their jobs. Look ma no brains. I just can't believe
some of things people do sometimes. You are given a chance
to get yourself away from situations where you would need
a gun, and it seems that the first thing some of these
bozos do is get right back into those situations. They
obviously have to run out and show how stupid they are
because that is usually what happens.
I
get tired of seeing these guys on TV saying they are sorry
and how they made a mistake. How about you just save your
apologies and not bring a dangerous weapon that could
kill someone, even though you didn't realize it was loaded,
and you never meant to hurt anyone or any of the other
foolish excuses people use when they accidentally shoot
someone.
These
guys have enough money that if they fear for their lives
or feel they need protection, they could hire a bodyguard
or two. Or here is a novel idea, if you feel things are
too dangerous when you leave the house maybe you should
stay at home where it's safe, although I can't for the
life of me think what dangers a professional lockeroom
posses, except for the occasional case of jock itch, which
can be pretty scary.
But
maybe after their courts cases are over and they pay their
fines and do their community service, they will learn
a lesson from all of this. Don't ever play cards with
an overlord.
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